Becoming Underwater Detective: Embracing Irrationality in Decision Making

What truly drives our choices? Could there be something like an ‘under-the-surface-DNA’ that together with our head or cognitive capacities forms the core of who we are.

A pattern that not only moves us but potentially keeps us as a prisoner in its complexity. This lived life under the surface might be what translates the world around us into our subjective experiences, shaping the way we see and interact with reality.

The metaphor of the "underwaterdetective" invites us to dive beneath the surface of what seems rationaland uncover the hidden currents. We often take pride in being rational beings,but here's the twist: most of our decisions are far from purely logical.

The Illusion of Rationality

At the heart of our existence is the so-called rational mind—the part of us that weighs pros and cons, processes facts, and evaluates outcomes. But if we take an honest look at our decision-making, we’ll quickly see that gut feelings, emotional impulses, and personal experiences conscious, and unconscious tend to dominate far more than cold, hard logic. It’s not that rationality doesn’t have its place—it’s just that we often overestimate its role.

Take the simplest decision: saying "yes" or "no." While it seems binary, like the logic of computer science, it’s far more complex than it appears. In my experience as an entrepreneur, I’ve noticed that many people are quick to say "no." It's almost like their default mode. They know exactly what they don’t want, but rarely what they do want. On the flip side, some always say "yes" but never follow through.

The difference between saying "yes" and "no" might seem logical, but it’s much more emotional. When people say "no," they often do so to keep their options open—even the options they haven’t yet discovered. Saying "yes," on the other hand, can feel like closing doors to all other options because you made a choice for one.

And then theirs is that other beast, emotional pressure. Many say "yes" simply because the social cost of saying "no" feels too big.

To truly understand behavior, we need to become "underwater detectives" and analyze our patterns beneath the surface which constitute our realities.

The Case for Diving Deeper

Let’s explore a bold hypothesis: If we want to live fuller, happier, and more connected lives, we must embrace both rationality and irrationality. This means acknowledging the emotional drivers—both in ourselves and others—and accepting our biases, rather than pretending we are logic machines.

We are often like smokers who know the health risks but light up anyway. Have you ever looked at the graphic warnings on cigarette packs? They explicitly state that smoking can lead to death or horrible diseases and still people continue to smoke. Why? Addiction! an irrational force deeply embedded in human nature.

In the same way, we are addicted to rationality. This addiction pulls us away and often makes us fearful of our own irrational impulses. But can I invite you. You shouldn’t be afraid of your irrational side. Instead, you should embrace it.

By becoming more aware of our irrational tendencies, we can start making more authentic decisions. And guess what? You might even end up making more money. Yes, understanding your emotional landscape and what drives your irrational decisions can give you an edge in relation ships but also in business.

Are you still not convinced?

Consider this: take a group of 100high-potential students from top universities and place them in a corporate environment. A few will rise to leadership positions faster than others. At the start, they’re all on a level playing field, equally smart and capable. But what sets the leaders apart? It’s not just their intelligence or technical skills. It’s how they handle their emotions and navigate relationships. In other words, becoming an "underwater detective" of your own emotional world is what truly makes a difference. And it never stops. It’s not a trick it’s a lifetime discovery.

Is there evidence supporting the importance of embracing irrationality? Absolutely. Although you could define it as circumstantial but its so overwhelming that I take my change.

First, consider the sheer number of biases we as grownups have to deal with. More than 250 types of cognitive, emotional, and social biases shape our behavior. We often think that what we see and hear determines how we feel, but more often than not, it’s the reverse: what we feel inside shapes how we perceive the world outside. Our emotional state directly influences our reality, which is why two people can look at the same situation and see completely different things. With over 250 biases in play, perhaps it’s time to accept that much of our behavior is, indeed, irrational.

This brings us to the concept of social intelligence, which is divided into four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Of these, only self-awareness taps directly into your personal emotional drivers. The others? They’re primarily things you can learn. A sort of cognitive processes. This explains the success of cognitive therapies and empathy training. But these interventions only scratch the surface. They don’t dive into the deeper forces driving the way you navigate the world.

The truth is simple, and it’s something you should probably print out and hang on your office wall. ‘You can’t fix what’s on the surface if you haven’t dived towards what’s going on deep inside.’

In my own experience as a depth analyst, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful our irrational side can be. Dream analysis, active imagination, and exploring the unconscious have led to profound insights. To give you a personal insight, I was born prematurely and spent my first two months in an incubator. That early experience—beyond my control—has shaped much of my emotional and relational life. These deep, often forgotten moments can have a profound impact on our decisions without even realizing it.

And regarding diving into the deep I am not alone. Look at the rise of non-rational practices like breathwork, micro dosing, and Ayahuasca ceremonies. These practices tap into something primal and deeply transformative. And, they have something very simple in common. They work by bypassing our cognitive processes and engaging with deeper, less rational parts of ourselves.

The Consequences of Rationality Addiction

If we hang on to the current paradigm of rationality we are headed for trouble. I am pleased to give you some of examples of what our current organization of society leads to.

We jump over emotions and ethics focusing solely on rationality leads us to ignore the emotional and ethical dimensions of our decisions. We may make choices that look good on paper but feel deeply wrong.

We cause environmental damage a purely rational approach to business and consumption has led to environmental degradation. Efficiency and profit have taken precedence over sustainability and well-being

Social Disconnection

In a hyper-rational world, we’re losing touch with our emotional selves. The focus on productivity and measurable outcomes has come at the cost of meaningful human connections.

If we agree on this kind consequences, how can we still argue that we are rational beings? It’s irrational to think we can live in a purely rational bubble, disconnected from our emotional and irrational sides. And yet, that’s what many of us try to do, much like smokers ignoring the warnings on cigarette packs. Even worse, buying training pack and courses to rationally try to overcome our irrationalities.

 The way forward is to become an Underwater Detective

We need to become underwater detectives, diving deeper into our unconscious and irrational selves to investigate what truly drives our decisions. It’s about knowing your nature before nurturing your nurture. By understanding the emotional and psychological currents that shape our choices, we can make decisions that align with our true selves. Not just the societal or logical expectations imposed on us or the ones we demand form ourselves without knowing why.

 In the end, rationality is just one part of the equation. It’s time to stop seeing irrationality as a flaw and start seeing it as a strength. By becoming underwater detectives, we can uncover the emotional truths beneath our lived lives and become richer, wiser and more meaningful.

‍